Self-reflection

I've spent much of my life in frantic self-reflection wanting to  know myself and how others see me.

Now that I'm older, I'm little interested in either

To be or not tobe

To be or not to be

 Friday evening...

‘David is eighty three and so we are not really latenighters so would 6.30 to 8.30  be about right?’

Two days later we were having dinner at Sue’s..

‘You see Sue I can’t doorknock for the Greens because I would lose my patience  and start arguing with people..Greens policies are self - evident to me. The reasons people don’t vote for them are all irrational and so people are unpersuadable to me.

People don’t  vote for the Greens  mainly  because they are greedy or because they have been intimidated  by  bullying politicians and their proxies in the mass media.


The beleaguered voter is told to be frightened  of everything and every body..terrorists, criminals,  refugees, migrants , incurable infectious diseases, the GFC, the collapse of the iron ore price,  the low dollar, the imminent collapse of house prices. We’re told to be frightened of  losing our job, our mortgage, our superannuation. Email scammers, credit card hackers,  floods, spiders, snakes and bushfires..they are all coming to get us. We live in a permanent state of fear and anxiety…

We’re even scared to open the door…scared of our neighbours. We can’t  let our children out of our sight and  are scared to smile at  little children in case we are thought to be sexual predators..Parents are now  even afraid they will be abused by their children in old age!

This fear is not an accident-it is absolutely necessary. It is essential  for politicians and the mass media so they  can make us do what they want and make a lot of money out of us… respectively.

Fear is what makes the developed  world go round. It oils the wheels of the economy. Without it the economy would collapse.

But once it is whipped up, fear cannot be dispelled so easily and the anxiety and adrenalin  it creates is addictive. You can’t just say to people  …stop being  afraid and anxious! It doesn’t work like that. Have you ever heard of a smoker or a drug addict stop using because they were told to stop it!

These  same  irrational fears and emotions are  involved in making the  decision about who to vote for in an election.

We have more than we need  but we live in an anxious and joyless world in the west. The only places where I have seen real joy and exuberance are  in Africa or South America….where, paradoxically,  most people have little or nothing. Unfortunately, their own ruthless and   powerful  elites are doing their best to change  their own joyful cultures into joyless ones like our own.

Saturday morning on my way into Woolworths

A deep sonorous voice booms to my right..

Ha! Ha! Ha!…Yeeaaaaahh!

‘You look like you’re  bearing the world on your shoulders mate …you look like you’re on your last legs!'

I looked up and scowled. At first I didn’t  recognize him..then I realized it was  Brian an - old tennis  friend.  I stopped playing about a year ago

Ho! Ho! Ho! …you look like you are carrying the whole world on your  shoulders he said again.. . Ha !Ha! Ha!

He was bending down and  hunched over -mimicking my stooped gait…

He guffawed again with that mocking jocularity Australians use to indicate they like someone. They think it is funny to mock people..it is the Australian sense of  humour..

Dad used to say..

‘Stand up straight! shoulders back!, look straight ahead!  … and smile!’

I didn’t understand why he kept saying it at the time. He also had it written on a card  in the toilet in the eye line of the person sitting  on the toilet…I must have been a scowling hunchback  even as a child

 Dad must have been disappointed in his youngest

 I never did listen to him much. It was an ego thing

This harangue from Brian  was also an ego thing: I veered towards him – ready to meet his raucous  and very public challenge.

He  was part of a group of ‘Meals-on- Wheelers’ raising money by  doing a  barbecue.

Taking a ridiculous and completely uncalled for risk,  I heard  myself  blurt out…

‘Whaddyu expect mate? . I was avoiding you…I  thought you might be part of a group of  *Liberal party stooges?’

I didn’t know Brian well enough to approach a risky subject like politics and make such an outrageous remark in public. I was way out of  line.

 It just came out. It was his turn to be disconcerted. Haw haw haw!  he blustered on..but I could see he was  taken aback at my boldness. (I did know him well enough to know that he was a  ‘dyed- in- the wool’ Liberal which is of course why I said it). I wanted to stop him in his tracks.

Why do I keep doing  this? I have this constant, uncontrollable  urge to take on people like Brian  and burst the  bubble of  complacency and self-satisfaction  which surrounds them like a halo. I want to prick it like a balloon and see the gloating face inside collapse.

Pop!!

 I can’t stop myself. It just happens.

Brian was pretending  he hadn’t heard me

‘You really looked  like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders Don!! he cackled’

‘Yeah…well last week I  was on my way into Woollies when I was accosted by these liberal party stooges  Its enough to drive you to drink!’ I said ignoring his comment.

‘So when are we going to see you again at the tennis?’  Said Brian, pointedly  ignoring my political comment.

‘Ahwwww I dunno ..I don’t think I think I can do it anymore..’

Brian guffawed at what seemed to him was a  ‘double entendre’

‘I..I play golf now… I said, embarrassed…’I keep injuring myself at tennis –all that jumping and leaping around at the net. I just can’t stop myself..’

‘Where’s  the problem –is it the legs?’ said Brian

Well..yeah..anything below the waist - it just doesn’t really  work any more

I was embarrassed again-this time by myself.

 I didn’t want to pursue  this line of conversation. Unofficially, I was acknowledged as  the best player at the club of oldies and  the truth was that  although I officially stopped playing because of my injuries I was aware there were  a few players-including  Brian, who had my measure and were on the verge of knocking  me off my perch!   This might well have been  be part of the reason  I stopped playing!

 Pretty pathetic isn’t it?
 

The week before, I  was proud of myself that I had walked passed the Liberals and (quite rudely), brushed them aside with a contemptuous  flourish  of my hand

Being a  Protestant, I  immediately felt bad and guilty.

 But the guilt didn’t last.  After pretending to go into another  shop  and after  a  respectable pause,  I circled back and re-engaged another Liberal  just long enough to dismiss him with a similar gesture.

On my way out of Woolworths I avoided Brian, but  as I  glanced at him out of the corner of my eye I  caught him looking at me with a bemused grin.

‘I’m sure he was saying to himself…Whaddya  know ..…Don’s a bloody lefty!’

To be or not to be?

Should I be polite to someone like Brian who  votes to bankrupt me?

Is it not my politeness that  allows people like Brian  to continue  to screw over his neighbours?  My politeness is the silk Pete uses to bind and trap us in his web.

They’re everywhere-these  people who vote to bankrupt their neighbor, whooping  and guffawing  and laughing  at their own jokes. They all  think they are so  very funny.

 Politics is war and war is not polite and not funny.  Thank God  I  don’t have these sort of encounters every day  because I don’t  go out much.  If I did I would be  exhausted.

Sue and David were lovely. She was larger than life and talked non-stop. He  said very little and served the food on cue.  Its so hard to get into people’s houses here- and even harder to get them into ours.

 “You must be tired after getting up so early Maria?”

It was 8.45 and this was our cue to leave. Sue was ex-army

I wonder  how long it will be before she finds some other  way of patronizing  me and I  take offence.

Brian  just  thought he was  being friendly. He and others in the tennis club  liked me because I made them laugh.

But when I ‘come out’ and show my political views in this way my usefulness is outweighed by the threat they now perceive me to be. They’re afraid..

Fear!

Brian  will blank me from now on. That’s the way it is.

I’ll tell you something , Brian!

 My grandmother used to say..

 ‘There’s nothing as queer as folk!’

and I was just  a wee lad so she wasn’t referring to me

 *For those of you outside Australia the Liberal Party in Australia is the conservative party*
 

2016 Moggy and the Greens

Moggy and the *Greens

Sunday April 9


So I went along, albeit begrudgingly, to the launch of the local Greens campaign. Begrudgingly?
Yes.. because I am not a politician and I don’t like working with organizations or committees. They are full of bossy people who like telling other people what to do.

But I felt I owed it to the candidate who is a lovely lady. I teach with her as a volunteer at the local community centre.


I wandered around and  eventually I struck up a conversation with someone. Almost  Immediately I was interrupted by some loud person who butted in and 'took over' as they knew who I was talking to.


I moved on and  started another conversation


and exactly the same thing happened again!


and again


…and again!


Four times in ten minutes  I struck up a conversation only to be interrupted by some rude person who couldn’t wait to talk to the person I was talking  to.



After the speeches I was inevitably approached by the clipboard brigade asking me how I would like to volunteer.


She was very young.


Looking at her list of things I could do I said


Na,  I don’t do any of those  things.


What about door-knocking or handing out leaflets?  she said


No, I said, people who vote for the main parties and against the greens are not persuadable because they do so either out of selfishness or fear.  They are irrational and you can not argue with fear or selfishness.  Greens policies are simply common sense-if people can’t see their own self-interest, there is no point in talking to them. You can’t say to someone –“Stop being selfish or afraid” They simply won’t listen.

The young clipboarder girl looked deflated so I felt guilty and sorry for her and said..


But I can help with your multicultural committee. That is what I do. I told her I was a teacher and  what I did and  she said


‘That is amazing! '’. I was saddened that she was genuinely astounded that my work was pro bono. I was also chuffed and delighted at the compliment.

Then she blotted her copybook by saying..

If you go to the website…..

Now it was my turn to interrupt

 No! I exclaimed,  I don’t do websites or pamphlets. … I've already done that and got no response. If someone is interested they can contact me…here is my number.

Oh…uh…ok  she said searching  for words and clearly disconcerted and unconvinced  it would ever happen. (So was I)



I had a few sandwiches and sat down. This time I was approached by another couple . Body language very  friendly.


Similar conversation as the others…


I said..


my strength is multicultural stuff but I notice no-one here is from another culture-they are all white Anglos— no indigeneous people either?


Awkward pause...and then


No! she said pointing…there  is one indigenous lady –over  there. She was right. There was indeed a  very milky coffee-coloured lady.  I stood corrected.

 but undeterred,  I went on

where is the voice of the multiculturals in Australia? They are only 'tolerated' here if they overtly express their gratitude for being tolerated-and wag their tails like a dog when spoken to.  Isn’t this  just white people sitting around doing what they are good at - talking about power and how to get it. Where are the multiculturals?

My friends were losing interest in me –but we were all saved from each other and embarassment by yet another rude interrupter who sat down beside us.  On cue, although my  conversation had not  yet  finished they all proceeded to ignore me.


I was about to get up and go home,but the interrupter had a dog and since no-one was now speaking to me , I introduced my self to him. Moggy was a friendly little fellow-he welcomed me with smiling eyes and a wagging tail.

Like many multiculturals Moggy knew  how to greet people and make them feel welcome.

‘I love dogs’  I enthused to Charlie

Well ..buy one then ! …said Charlie rather unhelpfully I thought.

No…I said…I can't what would I do with him if I went on holiday?

Give him to me!  volunteered Charlie.

And he meant it.

I shook his hand ..

You are the first person I’ve met who has ever offered to do such a thing.



A few minutes  later I said goodbye to my friend the local candidate and was asking her a question when I was interrupted yet again by some rude person.

In despair I decided to leave -but Moggie caught my eye. I turned and  ostentatiously extended my hand towards his paw.. much to the visible consternation of those around me..

See ya Moggie!  Enjoy the rest of your day!

Moggie wagged his tail and smiled

At last I had found someone I knew I  could talk to without being interrupted

Regards,

Don


P.S. Just imagine what a Liberal party fundraiser launch would be like

*The Greens are a left wing political party in Australia

Welcome to Australia!

I'm  sure Leonard Cohen would spend the next couple of years working on this!

  

I wonder if is it only me who feels this way?

I just had to say something...

Welcome to Australia

What is it about white culture? We don't seem to know how to talk to people and make them feel welcome...

I was at a function today organized by a noble white person who wanted to welcome some Brazilians recently  arrived to Australia.

 I  managed to start a few conversations  only to have every one them violently interrupted  by interjections  from  white people with wolf-like expressions and massive rows of false teeth,  determined  not let me finish my sentence.

I looked around and it was happening everywhere: like cannibals they were doing the same thing to each other.

Some conversations were started, interrupted and then restarted: most  were never finished..

The bewildered Brazilians could only  gawp in fascination  as …

the whites moved to the table settling themselves  like a group of Gallahs shouting at  each other and interrupting each other: each  vyeing with the other for dominance of the next utterance: the chorus of interjection and interruption gradually rising in a violent crescendo of raucous cackles and ribald repost 

Paralysed and unable  to participate, the bewildered newbies could only gawp in shock!

Never had they seen such loneliness, such angst, such pain, such denial… dressed up and drenched in such a cacophony of noise. It was truly terrifying!

I escaped and  sat apart in my despair– conspicuous by my rudeness.

Do you want to be part of this? said the noble lady with a  kindly but sheepish look.

‘No’,  I said,  and I furiously wheeled my facebook posts on my phone  in a vain attempt to look as if I had something important to find..

Welcome to Australia!

The Chinese are coming!

The Chinese are coming! The Chinese are coming!

I drove into town yesterday and dropped off M and our delightful Japanese homestay student at the central market to have lunch while I looked for somewhere to park the car.

I turned due south a couple of streets from  the entrance to the market and found it difficult to get a park. There were several private car parks but they were full. Eventually I found one which had 3 empty spaces-so I quickly entered  and was  manoeuvering  when I  noticed I had been followed in by another car. After observing me for a minute  the occupant, a well-dressed Chinese lady ,  got out and came over and announced in an assertive manner that it was a private park  and I could not  park there.

I looked up and noticed a huge  notice in Chinese characters which I presume had words to that effect.

I looked puzzled.

‘This is a private car park “  she repeated

‘But the sign is not in English’  I said!

‘This is a private car park!’ she repeated   in very good English

Fuming, I  started to drive off,  saying ..

‘The sign should be English'...I repeated.…'this is not acceptable in Australia’

Should I be expecting  a visit from the Triads?

Micommunication in 2016

Miscommunication in 2016

An English friend who is roughly the same age as myself, told me recently that as he gets older in Adelaide he increasingly feels he is not getting  the respect (he feels) he deserves?

Intrigued, I pressed him gently for more details...

How do you mean?  When? I said.

His answer surprised me.

'Every time I go out of the house'

I chuckled gently to myself. I thought  I knew vaguely what my friend meant but I did think  he was exaggerating just a little.

I arrived at the Migration museum today with my Brazilian friend  in tow...

We had just had an enjoyable lunch at which  he had been regaling me with stories about his Middle-Eastern  friend who seemed to enjoy picking fights with everyone they met - be they  classmates, shop assistants, receptionists, bartenders or baristas.

The reception in the museum  was 'manned' by a lady with blond  hair wearing the inevitable 'uniform' of the Australian-born female- white blouse, black slacks and a loud voice resembling a light chainsaw.

I tried to enter the museum without engaging her. (I don't deny I am nervous around Australian-born females: many don't seem to find me charming. I suppose its mutual as so  many of them seem to make my hackles rise)

I knew there was no fee for entrance, so I tried to scurry in with out making contact.

But, on seeing us enter, true to type she moved towards us with purpose on her sliding chair- just catching my eye long enough to let me know that she intended to speak to us (but not long enough to reassure me that she was going to be polite)

This movement made me hesitate and put me on the defensive. I braced myself-pursing  my lips  ever so  slightly-prepared for combat. 

My suspicions were confirmed when, head down and diving at the computer and avoiding eye contact  she said in a loud assertive voice and with falling intonation

'Now...I need to know where you are from'

(Note the absence of the question mark..this was not a polite question but an instruction!)

The falling intonation was entirely inappropriate for the context...it was the intonation used by the police officer or the officious bureaucrat-and the intonation I have observed often used by the female Australian when addressing an erring husband, or dog.

Disconcerted, and always willing  to take offence where none is really intended I inadvertently  misconstrued what she said. 

I was in my element. Before I could stop myself I had  blurted out

What??!!

My retort, in a  paper thin voice did not conceal my exasperation at what appeared to be a  completely non-sensical and unwarranted question.

By the presumptiousness and inappropriateness of  her tone I thought she was either casting aspersions on my ancestry or wanting to know which organization (employer) I was with. In either case I was justifiably determined to be offended.  

Why the hell does she want to know where I am from?.  It did not occur to me...at least not in time..that she wanted to know my postcode  for marketing and research purposes. (not that that is a justifiable reason either!)

Her tone had completely thrown me off-balance

Irritated with the tone of my repost she punished me by keeping her head down and refusing to make  eye contact. She repeated  in the same condescending tone..

Where are you from  Voice definitely too loud. Head down. Still no eye contact. Tone still falling. Totally inappropriate!

Now, I really was becoming  furious. How dare she ask me such an insolent question!

I felt like saying to her... What's it to you?

I'm sick of being asked for unnecessary details by petty bureaucrats. (They are everywhere these days-even shop assistants ask me for my address when I buy something)

Determined to make my point I expostulated..

'I'm not from anywhere! (I'm unemployed)

I'm  from Australia!!' (why would you think I'm not!)

I  made no attempt to hide my irritation

She looked up and realised that there was a problem.

'That'll teach her! I thought to myself with an inward smirk.

But now there was the problem of  how we were going to proceed?

She paused...and stared at me for a few moments as if she wer saying to herself .. Oh God! not another one!

She appeared to think about taking me on for a few moments 

'I need to know your postcode', she continued...her too oud voice indicating her  determination.

...and then she thought better of it....and abruptly  put her head down and said dismissively

'Oh...doesn't matter' and waving her  hand at me in disgust she ushered us in.

We went in. I felt vindicated - but a little  uncomfortable and my Brazilian friend looking bemused.

At lunch, I had found my friend's  stories  about the arrogance, misogeny  and hypocrisy of his  embarrassing Middle-Eastern  friend to be hugely entertaining.....we had chuckled, chortled and guffawed our way to the migration museum....

Hmmm....

P.S.

Why the miscommunication?

Is this

             (a) a contemporary phenomenon...what my English friend was talking about?

             (b) a common or garden miscommunication

             (b) old age?

             (c) just me?

             (d) all of the above?

Thanks in advance for your feedback

Three Australias Parts 1 and 2

The Three Australias

Part 1

I liked how Noel Pearson described his concept of the ‘Three Australias’ in his speech yesterday.

‘The First Australians’  (A1s) with 50000 years of sustainable occupation of the land

‘ The colonists’ (A2s) from England and Ireland who have developed the country into a successful nation state, but who unfortunately  almost extinguished A1s  during this process.

‘Multicultural Australia’ (A3s) The modern migrants: Greeks,Italians other Europeans and Asians who have arrived since the end of the second world war.

None of the three groups own Australia-but at  the moment the  A2’s currently behave as if they own it. They  assume ownership, hold most of the  political power and insist the other subgroups should be grateful to be accepted into ‘their ‘ country.

Pearson argues that having 26^th January as National day honours only the A2’s. He is right. In fact, the 26^th January ignores  the A3’s and actively  dishonours  the A1’s

This attitude of ‘Ownership’ on the part of  the A2’s needs to change.

We should perhaps learn from  the indigenous people  who say that nobody (not even they themselves)  owns the land of Australia-the land owns the people.

How do we change this attitude?

Education?

Political debate and leadership?

Hmm….

Anyone got a sledgehammer?

No… we should start by changing the date of Australia day

Then we should accept that just as Australia is made up of different  states, modern  Australia is made up of  three different subcultures…

We should stop trying to defeat or absorb each other and  engage in the process of learning about  other’s subcultures.

I have observed that this is what many A2 Australians and some A3 Australians  do not do well. The three subcultures fear each other at present.  They seem to  be competing and many  A2’s seem to think they can somehow  ‘absorb’ the other two. This is never going to happen. They needn’t do this-they need simply acknowledge their differences. Because they are very different.

The following are just a few  things each culture can learn from each other. It is by no means an exhaustive list – they are just a few examples. Of course the categories overlap.

A2s need to realize that they can learn things from A1s such as a sense of identity , connectedness, family, community and generosity of spirit. A1s can learn from A2s about individual rights, personal responsibility, gender equity and efficient administrative and democratic political processes.

A2s can learn from A3s about, communication skills, adventurousness, family and community.. A3s can learn from A2’s the same things A1s can learn: personal responsibility, gender equity, individual rights,  efficient administrative processes and democratic political processes.

A3’s can learn from A1’s the same things A2’s can learn –and about land management and A1s can learn about adaptability and innovation from A3’s

Maybe some of these categories are indeed inaccurate. That is not the point at all. The point is we have to acknowledge, support and learn from each other and stop seeing each other as competitors.

It will not be a short or straightforward process-but it will be an exciting one.

There is nowhere else on this planet with the opportunity to create this unique culture we all call Australia.

Part 2

So... what do we do with this concept of  A1s, A2s and A3s?

Perhaps we can remodel our democracy to equalize the imbalance of power. At the moment the A2 has much more power than the others for many reasons: First,they are more wealthy because they own most of the land. Second, they have more social networks which help them increase their wealth and power. Third, they have access to educational opportunity-and hence power and wealth- because they speak the language and built the educational system. Fourth, they  understand the political processes because they created them. Finally, A2s are more numerous which allows them to dominate the others.

So...I suggest the  "one man one vote '  system is unfair and obsolete. If we really want to share power (and not just votes) it should be replaced with another system. Democracy is about power sharing-which is not the same as vote sharing.

Because of the imbalance of power I suggest that A2s continue to be given one vote in elections but that A3s be given 10 votes each and A1s 20 votes each. (Yes ..this  is arbitrary...it could be some other combination of figures)

Q.E.D.

Surprised?

Hmm...now you perhaps understand what it feels like to be an A1 or an A3!

Maybe ..you understand how it feels to be disempowered.