Job Applications and Interviews

Job Applications and Interviews - Change in the Rules for the New Millennium.

The job application and interview process has been reviewed.

The following is a list of infringements and the consequences they will attract for

Interviewers (Not applicants)

Before the Interview

For the following infringements:

Not acknowledging application received.

Asking for the age of the applicant on the application form

Not providing refreshment before the interview.

Not thanking the interviewee personally for taking the time to attend the interview.

Not being shown around the workplace before the interview

Using generic “Dear Candidate” type terms in the application correspondence.
(And not using the personal name of the candidate)

Asking the applicant to waste his time transcribing information to an application form instead of requesting a Curriculum Vitae.

These infringements will attract the penalty of ninety-nine lashes of the whip by the first ninety-nine applicants drawn at random from the applications list who did not receive an acknowledgement of their application from the Employer.

But for the following infringements before the interview there are more serious consequences:

Not offering to pay travel expenses to the applicant.

Not being given the E-mail contact addresses of other members of staff so that Interviewees can get a clear picture of what it is like to work in the organization.

Not sending to the applicant the profile of the interviewer with the following details of the INTERVIEWER: age, gender, format of interview, qualifications and experience to all interviewees by E-mail before an interview (This information must be received by the applicant within a reasonable period of time so that the applicant can decide if the interviewer is qualified to interview him).

Not sending to the applicant the exact questions which will be asked at interview..(These should constitute at least 75 percent of the total number of questions asked -the other 25% of questions can be unknown to the applicant at interview).




The Consequences will be:


Burial up to the chest in a hole in the ground followed by stoning to death by overqualified and/or candidates too poor to pay the expenses





During the interview:

Here are the new regulations governing the interview process itself:
The following infringements:

Not providing water or something to drink in the interview

The use of an officious self-important tone by the interviewer.

Inappropriate and/or provocative dress by the interviewer (such as low cut dress)


Will attract the consequence of:

99 lashes of the whip -one by each rejected applicant who didn’t make it to interview.
also for

Clearly not having read the curriculum Vitae of the interviewee

Having more than one interviewer at an interview. (Others can watch tapes afterwards)

Not video-taping the interview

Not allowing experienced job interviewees to talk at length about their job experiences


Not allowing the applicant to ask two personal questions to the interviewer. (So that the interviewee can make an assessment of the interviewer as a person)

these are all infringements deemed to be serious enough to attract the maximum penalty:

Burial up to the chest in a hole in the ground followed by stoning to death.






After the Interview


After the interview, the interviewer will be given a deadline by which time he must have informed the applicant of the result of the interview.
Failure to comply will result in an electric drill being applied to the employer’s knee-cap.

Interviewees who are unsuccessful at interview will be given free access to legal services at the expense of the employer. The appeals tribunal will consist of 99 persons who have been unemployed for six months or more, and one interviewer.