Five, or is it six posts in one day. Must be a record.
Maybe writing is addictive.
An addiction is something that starts off as useful but if overused can become destructive both to the addict and those around him.
I'd forgotten chocolate, sugar, salt, work, sleeping pills and anxiety.
Yes, I think anxiety and work are coping mechanisms which can be very addictive.
Retirement, Kota Kinabalu
This is where I would like to be after I have robbed the bank
Winners and Losers
Debate 2008 Winners and Losers Editor at left.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Emotional Intelligence
The emotionally intelligent person is the new name for the oldest personality type in the history of humanity-the 'survivor' - the person who survives by systematic brown-nosing and manipulation.
the 'F' word -he is 'Flexible'
I am definitely emotional and possibly intelligent - but not emotionally intelligent.
No wonder people find English difficult to learn.
the 'F' word -he is 'Flexible'
I am definitely emotional and possibly intelligent - but not emotionally intelligent.
No wonder people find English difficult to learn.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Africa, Addiction and Happiness
The average human is a collection of addictions
In spite of facing the most extreme hardships in life Africans remain addicted to happiness. Just look at them and observe them.
We are all addicted to something: nicotine, alcohol, routines, food, comfort, drugs, danger, sex, excitement, pain, even despair.
Africa was the cradle of civilisation.
The world might be a happier place if humans had not moved out of it.
In spite of facing the most extreme hardships in life Africans remain addicted to happiness. Just look at them and observe them.
We are all addicted to something: nicotine, alcohol, routines, food, comfort, drugs, danger, sex, excitement, pain, even despair.
Africa was the cradle of civilisation.
The world might be a happier place if humans had not moved out of it.
Vive la difference
Truth is like the childrens' game:
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours!"
There is no absolute truth
Vive la difference!
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours!"
There is no absolute truth
Vive la difference!
Truth and children
Truth..?
For children what is important is that 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'
We should be like children.
For children, the absolute truth is not important.
For children what is important is that 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'
We should be like children.
For children, the absolute truth is not important.
Karl Marx and the bureacratisation of life
Karl Marx has the last laugh.
The Post-Modern 21st century 'Bourgeois' suburban dweller has harnessed the electronic power of modern technology to consolidate his own social power and status.
He uses e-mail, mobile phone, text messages etc to insulate himself from those he neglects and ignores and thus anaesthetises himself from any pangs of guilt he might feel about his abuse.
Like the Mobster or Drug Lord who just gives the orders, but never has to pull the trigger himself, he never has to see face to face the results of his neglect, exploitation or abuse.
The social relations of the 21st century Bourgeois, like other aspects of his life, have become almost entirely bureaucratized.
The only people he has to interact with face-to-face nowadays are those in his inner "Bubble" who are absolutely necessary to his psychological survival.
This leaves him free to exploit and parasitise others with relative ease and casual cruelty.
Marx would be chuckling in his grave
The Post-Modern 21st century 'Bourgeois' suburban dweller has harnessed the electronic power of modern technology to consolidate his own social power and status.
He uses e-mail, mobile phone, text messages etc to insulate himself from those he neglects and ignores and thus anaesthetises himself from any pangs of guilt he might feel about his abuse.
Like the Mobster or Drug Lord who just gives the orders, but never has to pull the trigger himself, he never has to see face to face the results of his neglect, exploitation or abuse.
The social relations of the 21st century Bourgeois, like other aspects of his life, have become almost entirely bureaucratized.
The only people he has to interact with face-to-face nowadays are those in his inner "Bubble" who are absolutely necessary to his psychological survival.
This leaves him free to exploit and parasitise others with relative ease and casual cruelty.
Marx would be chuckling in his grave
Monday, October 11, 2010
The User and the Loser
I know two people: one is a user and the other is a loser
The user is calculating and measured in everything she does. She has to control everyone and everything around her. In another context she would be a slaver. She weaves webs around people to ensnare them or manipulate them into furthering her agenda. She follows the rules when it suits her but crosses the line when necessary. Manipulation and deceit are the tools of her trade. You can hear it in her whining voice and inappropriate falling intonation when she gives you a command disguised as a question; and in the clattering of the crockery as she weaves her web in the kitchen sink. She thinks she is clever. She is an Atheist because she believes she is clever and doesn’t need the help of a supernatural entity. She loves herself. She loves food and plants but she is a hard-nosed bitch who eats like a ravenous horse when on her own.
She is afraid of the future.
The loser is more open but more cautious and obsessed with his past mistakes. He is an idealist who has never quite learned to live up to, nor give up, his ideals. He is an atheist at present because he does not believe that a ‘Good’ entity could create such a cruel thing as a human being. He loves and despises humanity. He loves birds and trees but hates himself, sticks his finger in his ear and grunts like a pig when his throat itches no matter who is in the room.
He is afraid of the past and the future.
Both of them live in fear and neither of them live in the present for more than a few minutes.
The user is calculating and measured in everything she does. She has to control everyone and everything around her. In another context she would be a slaver. She weaves webs around people to ensnare them or manipulate them into furthering her agenda. She follows the rules when it suits her but crosses the line when necessary. Manipulation and deceit are the tools of her trade. You can hear it in her whining voice and inappropriate falling intonation when she gives you a command disguised as a question; and in the clattering of the crockery as she weaves her web in the kitchen sink. She thinks she is clever. She is an Atheist because she believes she is clever and doesn’t need the help of a supernatural entity. She loves herself. She loves food and plants but she is a hard-nosed bitch who eats like a ravenous horse when on her own.
She is afraid of the future.
The loser is more open but more cautious and obsessed with his past mistakes. He is an idealist who has never quite learned to live up to, nor give up, his ideals. He is an atheist at present because he does not believe that a ‘Good’ entity could create such a cruel thing as a human being. He loves and despises humanity. He loves birds and trees but hates himself, sticks his finger in his ear and grunts like a pig when his throat itches no matter who is in the room.
He is afraid of the past and the future.
Both of them live in fear and neither of them live in the present for more than a few minutes.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Fundamentalism
The Bourgeois of the social democracy is flawed in two ways: he is cautious, conservative and inward-looking; and he is totally without curiousity about-and feels no responsibility for-anyone outside the small collection of relatives and friends who inhabit his tiny biospheric 'Bubble'.
The former characteristic is a flaw which he shares with the religious fundamentalist. But the fundamentalist is superior in that he feels some responsibilty for his neighbours and for people in the wider world.
Ironically, the burgeoning of the electronic media has seen the strengthening of the Bourgeois in society by sealing him more tightly within his bubble. He is increasingly closed and complacent: he never has to physically come out of his bubble.
The contemporary Bourgeois is as emotionally disconnected from a friend in the same city as he is from a friend living on the other side of the planet.
There is no longer any need to interact face -to- face.
This is the atomised 'Anomie' (Durkheim first discussed) championed by the Bourgoisie who now live as role models in the suburbs of western social democracies all over the world.
The former characteristic is a flaw which he shares with the religious fundamentalist. But the fundamentalist is superior in that he feels some responsibilty for his neighbours and for people in the wider world.
Ironically, the burgeoning of the electronic media has seen the strengthening of the Bourgeois in society by sealing him more tightly within his bubble. He is increasingly closed and complacent: he never has to physically come out of his bubble.
The contemporary Bourgeois is as emotionally disconnected from a friend in the same city as he is from a friend living on the other side of the planet.
There is no longer any need to interact face -to- face.
This is the atomised 'Anomie' (Durkheim first discussed) championed by the Bourgoisie who now live as role models in the suburbs of western social democracies all over the world.
The Bourgeois of the social democracy is flawed in two ways: he is cautious, very conservative and inward-looking; and he is totally without curiosity about, and hence feels no responsibility for anyone outside the tiny collection of relatives and friends who inhabit his little biospheric 'Bubble'.
The former characteristic is a flaw which he shares with the religious fundamentalist. Setting aside the truism that the fundamentalists are rapacious psychopaths and paedophiles, to give credit where it is due, the fundamentalist is superior in that he feels some responsibilty for his neighbours and for people in the wider world even if it is only to exploit and enslave them.
Ironically, the burgeoning of the electronic media has has seen the strengthening of the Bourgeois in society by allowing him to seal himself more tightly within his bubble. He uses the e-mail. phone and text message as an excuse NOT to communicate face to face with his neighbour. He is increasingly closed and complacent and never has to come out of his bubble.
The contemporary burgeois is as distant from a friend in the same city as he is from a friend living on the other side of the planet.
The former characteristic is a flaw which he shares with the religious fundamentalist. Setting aside the truism that the fundamentalists are rapacious psychopaths and paedophiles, to give credit where it is due, the fundamentalist is superior in that he feels some responsibilty for his neighbours and for people in the wider world even if it is only to exploit and enslave them.
Ironically, the burgeoning of the electronic media has has seen the strengthening of the Bourgeois in society by allowing him to seal himself more tightly within his bubble. He uses the e-mail. phone and text message as an excuse NOT to communicate face to face with his neighbour. He is increasingly closed and complacent and never has to come out of his bubble.
The contemporary burgeois is as distant from a friend in the same city as he is from a friend living on the other side of the planet.
The Growth of the Counselling 'Industry'
Counseling has become another ‘Industry’ in the ‘Developed’ world. As the traditional role of the cleric has declined the role of the counselor has increased in status and the planet is now awash with a spawn of parasites that are out to make money at the expense of the most vulnerable in the population.
I am not just talking about private counselors here. The private counselor is an ugly form of parasite who preys on clients who can afford to pay. Each is as morally bankrupt as the other and each deserves the other..
No, I am talking about the small number of counselors who have remained with the Medicare system in Australia ( at their own expense) They have the same opinion as I do of private counselors
I actually see counselors as much better than clerics as long as they are qualified to counsel.
But sadly, that is often not the case as there are so many “specializations’ in counseling that the unqualified counselor is sometimes not able to resist the chance to counsel someone who can’t tell his arse from his elbow anyway, even though, with respect to the particular problem the ‘client’ is presenting with, the counselor doesn’t know his arse from his elbow either! This can often makes a bad situation worse.
But the main reason counselors fail is because they ‘cop out’ on their ‘clients’.
They provide a diagnosis of the problem. But in many cases the diagnosis is already known to the clients themselves. In many others the diagnosis is not understood by the client. In the former case why should clients waste time getting counselors to tell the client what they already know- in some reformulated format? In the latter case what is the point of telling the client anything?
Worse still, because of the threat of litigation, counselors are afraid to grab the bull by the horns and be proactive in their interventions.
They tell the client that it is entirely up to the client to choose a course of action, when in fact the client often requires precisely the encouragement offered by an active intervention (with the consent of the client of course) by the counselor to facilitate progress towards a solution.
This is all made more complicated by the legal confidentiality procedures which circumscribe the counselor’s options and which hamstring the counselor so he can achieve little without compromising the confidentiality of some party involved in the problem.
No! No! says the counselor it’s up to you or x or y, the two of you or three of you to decide…
Rubbish counselor-get your finger out! - We all already know what the problem is here- stop counting your money, roll up your sleeves, and assist us by mediating between the parties!
What is the counselor for if not to get involved, roll their sleeves up and engage with the parties involved?
To seek reasons to stay aloof is a cop-out. As the situation now stands the counselor gets paid whether he engages or not.
The result has been the spawning of a gigantic army of ‘Counselors’ who seem to know little more (often less) than their clients about life, and who literally feed off the trials and tribulations of the latter.
Finally, counsellors should be obliged to be counselled themselves before counselling their clients. So often, the counselor brings his own 'baggage' to the sessions and confuses it with the client's baggage.
At each session the counselor should be obliged by his professional association to show the certificate showing that he himself is being counselled by another counsellor.
It should be mandatory practice that a copy of the certificate should be provided to the client so that he/she can check up that the certification is valid.
I am not just talking about private counselors here. The private counselor is an ugly form of parasite who preys on clients who can afford to pay. Each is as morally bankrupt as the other and each deserves the other..
No, I am talking about the small number of counselors who have remained with the Medicare system in Australia ( at their own expense) They have the same opinion as I do of private counselors
I actually see counselors as much better than clerics as long as they are qualified to counsel.
But sadly, that is often not the case as there are so many “specializations’ in counseling that the unqualified counselor is sometimes not able to resist the chance to counsel someone who can’t tell his arse from his elbow anyway, even though, with respect to the particular problem the ‘client’ is presenting with, the counselor doesn’t know his arse from his elbow either! This can often makes a bad situation worse.
But the main reason counselors fail is because they ‘cop out’ on their ‘clients’.
They provide a diagnosis of the problem. But in many cases the diagnosis is already known to the clients themselves. In many others the diagnosis is not understood by the client. In the former case why should clients waste time getting counselors to tell the client what they already know- in some reformulated format? In the latter case what is the point of telling the client anything?
Worse still, because of the threat of litigation, counselors are afraid to grab the bull by the horns and be proactive in their interventions.
They tell the client that it is entirely up to the client to choose a course of action, when in fact the client often requires precisely the encouragement offered by an active intervention (with the consent of the client of course) by the counselor to facilitate progress towards a solution.
This is all made more complicated by the legal confidentiality procedures which circumscribe the counselor’s options and which hamstring the counselor so he can achieve little without compromising the confidentiality of some party involved in the problem.
No! No! says the counselor it’s up to you or x or y, the two of you or three of you to decide…
Rubbish counselor-get your finger out! - We all already know what the problem is here- stop counting your money, roll up your sleeves, and assist us by mediating between the parties!
What is the counselor for if not to get involved, roll their sleeves up and engage with the parties involved?
To seek reasons to stay aloof is a cop-out. As the situation now stands the counselor gets paid whether he engages or not.
The result has been the spawning of a gigantic army of ‘Counselors’ who seem to know little more (often less) than their clients about life, and who literally feed off the trials and tribulations of the latter.
Finally, counsellors should be obliged to be counselled themselves before counselling their clients. So often, the counselor brings his own 'baggage' to the sessions and confuses it with the client's baggage.
At each session the counselor should be obliged by his professional association to show the certificate showing that he himself is being counselled by another counsellor.
It should be mandatory practice that a copy of the certificate should be provided to the client so that he/she can check up that the certification is valid.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Relationships
In most relationships people are incapable of meeting each other's needs even when they try to do so with energy and good intention.
And when people do manage to meet each others needs it is always at the expense of a third party.
And when people do manage to meet each others needs it is always at the expense of a third party.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Sharing the Bottle,China and Africa
This is a wonderful quote from a UK newspaper article on the life of African migrants in China.
"It's easier than with Europeans," adds Rufito. "In China we live like in Africa. You have your bottle – you share it with others. In Europe? They do not share the bottle."
I'd like to think Rufito is talking about a metaphorical bottle.
Perhaps not-maybe he meant it both literally and metaphorically.
He's right, anyway.
If you want my pennyworth, South and Central America are in the African camp and Australia and North America are like Europe.
"It's easier than with Europeans," adds Rufito. "In China we live like in Africa. You have your bottle – you share it with others. In Europe? They do not share the bottle."
I'd like to think Rufito is talking about a metaphorical bottle.
Perhaps not-maybe he meant it both literally and metaphorically.
He's right, anyway.
If you want my pennyworth, South and Central America are in the African camp and Australia and North America are like Europe.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
2010 Phantom of the Opera
Life is like playing 'Blind Man's Buff' where the subject is spun round with a mask over his eyes and he has to catch everyone in the room.
We are all like the masked subject in that we can't see the weaknesses in our character which are making us unhappy
There are several ways the mask can be removed and our weaknesses revealed:
Through meditation and reflection. This is rare and almost impossible for most of us I think. Perhaps some religious people can do it-Prophets, Saints and and such like.
Through organised religion-the devout may find a limited form of happiness in this way
Through falling in love with someone-the beloved may remove the mask gently without threatening the subject.
Friends may remove the mask as long as they are not too frank or direct with the subject. The unmasking has to be carried out with subtlety and care or the friendship will founder.
Removing the the mask directly ends the game and is dangerous as the subject feels threatened. This is the equivalent of telling someone directly their faults. It ends in argument and the subject regards the unmasker as an enemy. Very few people can or will accept direct unmasking either verbally or in written form.I certainly can't!
Have you seen Phantom of the Opera? It illustrates this process perfectly and beautifully!
Good writing, literature or drama is a subtle and gentle way of removing the mask. The subject may reflect and attempt to address his weaknesses.
Bad writing or poor drama removes our mask too directly, or not at all, and is threatening.The subject feels uncomfortable and hostile to the unmasker(s).
A lot of my writing is too direct and therefore threatening- the message needs to be clear but softened with humour or beauty.
We are all like the masked subject in that we can't see the weaknesses in our character which are making us unhappy
There are several ways the mask can be removed and our weaknesses revealed:
Through meditation and reflection. This is rare and almost impossible for most of us I think. Perhaps some religious people can do it-Prophets, Saints and and such like.
Through organised religion-the devout may find a limited form of happiness in this way
Through falling in love with someone-the beloved may remove the mask gently without threatening the subject.
Friends may remove the mask as long as they are not too frank or direct with the subject. The unmasking has to be carried out with subtlety and care or the friendship will founder.
Removing the the mask directly ends the game and is dangerous as the subject feels threatened. This is the equivalent of telling someone directly their faults. It ends in argument and the subject regards the unmasker as an enemy. Very few people can or will accept direct unmasking either verbally or in written form.I certainly can't!
Have you seen Phantom of the Opera? It illustrates this process perfectly and beautifully!
Good writing, literature or drama is a subtle and gentle way of removing the mask. The subject may reflect and attempt to address his weaknesses.
Bad writing or poor drama removes our mask too directly, or not at all, and is threatening.The subject feels uncomfortable and hostile to the unmasker(s).
A lot of my writing is too direct and therefore threatening- the message needs to be clear but softened with humour or beauty.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Update on a disturbing new phenomenon
This is an update on "A disturbing phenomenon"
I know a lady in Australia who almost has it all.
She is a sound and competent professional. She is a very good person -more than fulfilling her family responsibilities.
She 'donates' to disasters around the world.
But what is most interesting is that she ignores people close to her who are in trouble and are in just as much need as disaster victims.
She is not the only one I know who does this. I know several people like her. They are almost a post - modern 'type'.
It is a disturbing phenomenon:
She enjoys good health; a big house; a big garden; financial security; a job she likes doing; job security; time with her children; even time with her grandchildren; She has a vibrant social life.
What more could she want?
The only thing she doesn't have is a partner-someone to share it all with.
This drives her to distraction. It haunts her . She pursues and stalks potential partners and tries to enslave them. The more she pursues them-the further they run from her.
Nothing original about what I’m going to say –it is biblical in its simplicity: she wants it all. She doesn't realise that everything you get in life has to be paid for with something else. You can't have everything. If she were prepared to trade off even one of the things on the above list of blessings -she might get the partner and be happy.
But no, she won't trade off anything.
So she's lonely and unhappy.
And her loneliness makes her angry and very manipulative.
And her potential suitors keep running like hell from her.
The media constantly tell us that we can have it all if we only we have this or that, or do this or that.
Not only can we have it all-we deserve it all!
Such arrogance and greed.
It is a major difference between people in the the 'Developed' world and people in 'Developing' countries.
In developing countries people don't expect to have it all.
That is why they are not so angry.
They don't want everything.
She is unhappy and I know the reason -she doesn''t.
But of course I can't tell her-she would take it very badly indeed.
Some people who know me also probably know why I am unhappy -but they won't tell me either -because they think I might take it badly.
That is what Writing and Art is for-to tell us what is wrong with us in a way which is acceptable to us.
Some people tell me I'm judgemental.
But that is what writers do -you can't write without being judgemental - it is what we do.
I know a lady in Australia who almost has it all.
She is a sound and competent professional. She is a very good person -more than fulfilling her family responsibilities.
She 'donates' to disasters around the world.
But what is most interesting is that she ignores people close to her who are in trouble and are in just as much need as disaster victims.
She is not the only one I know who does this. I know several people like her. They are almost a post - modern 'type'.
It is a disturbing phenomenon:
She enjoys good health; a big house; a big garden; financial security; a job she likes doing; job security; time with her children; even time with her grandchildren; She has a vibrant social life.
What more could she want?
The only thing she doesn't have is a partner-someone to share it all with.
This drives her to distraction. It haunts her . She pursues and stalks potential partners and tries to enslave them. The more she pursues them-the further they run from her.
Nothing original about what I’m going to say –it is biblical in its simplicity: she wants it all. She doesn't realise that everything you get in life has to be paid for with something else. You can't have everything. If she were prepared to trade off even one of the things on the above list of blessings -she might get the partner and be happy.
But no, she won't trade off anything.
So she's lonely and unhappy.
And her loneliness makes her angry and very manipulative.
And her potential suitors keep running like hell from her.
The media constantly tell us that we can have it all if we only we have this or that, or do this or that.
Not only can we have it all-we deserve it all!
Such arrogance and greed.
It is a major difference between people in the the 'Developed' world and people in 'Developing' countries.
In developing countries people don't expect to have it all.
That is why they are not so angry.
They don't want everything.
She is unhappy and I know the reason -she doesn''t.
But of course I can't tell her-she would take it very badly indeed.
Some people who know me also probably know why I am unhappy -but they won't tell me either -because they think I might take it badly.
That is what Writing and Art is for-to tell us what is wrong with us in a way which is acceptable to us.
Some people tell me I'm judgemental.
But that is what writers do -you can't write without being judgemental - it is what we do.
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