Women

It was 1979, and a cold and wet summers evening in Belfast. I was playing tennis with my colleague.

We were talking in general about friendship.

The colleague, who was married brought up a topic about which I confessed to him at the time I knew absolutely nothing. I had never had a girlfriend.

I had not brought up the topic but there he was talking to me about women.

I realise now in retrospect that he must have just had an argument with his wife.

For some reason, I can't think why, I remember exactly what he said to me.

I should explain that although I had the normal sexual instincts of a young male, I had until that point found Irish women to be unattractive, even cold and almost incapable of conversation.

Of course I believed that somehow this was my fault. I seemed to lack whatever it was they were looking for in a man.

My colleague said....

"Don, women are nest-builders. Don't forget it. They are interested in nobody else except their own nest!"

I was perplexed and I remember I did not really know how to respond. I think I grunted something to indicate vague agreement out of politeness.

I was twenty eight and had an almost desperate confidence in my future prospects for romance-even though something had always told me that I would never be really successful in my personal relationships with women.

By way of clarification he went on to explain that by 'nest' he meant children.

"The husband is not part of the nest." he went on. "as for outsiders they don't count at all.."

Out of fear of offending my colleague I said nothing, but I thought to myself..

"My God, what a strange thing to say. I'm sure there must be more to women than that"

"What about friendship?" I said

"Yes" he said "at first , but in the end it is the nest"

He went on "They'll do anything to anybody to protect the nest"

Now..I think I agree with my friend.

I have observed that in general women are indeed nest-builders and seem to have little interest in anything or anyone else around them apart from their own offspring.

There are exceptions of course.

Some women will espouse and even sacrifice themselves for noble causes-like Mother Theresa.

But I suppose I might do that too-if I got my board and keep

Other than that-well it just seems to be the nest.

It seems Darwin got this right.