G1 Brunei Darussalam(4) Diary from 2001

Diary from Brunei

Most of my writing and recording did not occur contemporaneously with the action. I wrote only incomplete recollections, many of them in 2009 20 or even 30 years after the action. I was at 3 schools in Brunei. The final school was Maktab sains an elite  school. I spent 4 years at Menglait. so lets here my thoughts form a diary I wrote at the time in Menglait. It might give you an idea of my frame of mind in the first half of the Brunei project.

Gangs!

June 20 2001

A  menglait student made an unusual comment today when writing the first draft of a composition in which he talked about being a member of a group in Bandar Seri Begawan Brunei which goes out at night and is involved in gang fighting! I really could not believe, this but it appears to be true. My students appeared to be so peaceful. I did not know whether to go to the Deputy Principal. The boy was a very pleasant pupil, diminutive in size and not very smart. He had just come back from "Haj!" in Saudi Arabia.

This same student asked me for extra classes in English ! The reason of course was to come to school so he could socialise. Many students at schools in Brunei are even prepared to go through the ritual of attending class in order to play with their friends.

"Why"? I asked. ""Oh, boring sir at home"

their life at home was so boring. They were not allowed out of the house, mostly. They were confined to their rooms. This was 'Social life' in a strict Muslim country.. The students like coming to school, not to learn , but to get away form their homes.

 Sunday 17 june

I was rostered on this Sunday  morning to clean up  the stadium at Bandar Seri Begawan with my class and colleagues from Menglait. The event was the upcoming  Sultans birthday The work started at 7.30 so I arrived at 830. My timing was perfect- hundreds of people were just setting out with their black plastic bags. Surprise, surprise! I only saw one form one student from Menglait, and about four teachers! I was able to go home at 9.30.

I think it is this unpredictability of living in third world countries that adds a bit of colour and spice to the boring routine. I love this unpredictability- you just never know what is going to happen. This feeds one's sense of humor, and keeps one humble. 

It is the predictability of first world cultures which leads people eventually to become complacent and arrogant.

 

 Tuesday, July 17, 2001

I never cease to be amazed by Brunei! How could Cfbt not have told me about this in my orientation course? One of my form for students said to me.

" Sir, on Sunday you tell the Principle that we want to go and wave flags!”

I thought about this for quite awhile and and I said

"What ? You want to come to school at seven o'clock on Sunday morning ?

"Yes Sir!"

“Why?” I said.

" Oh, home sir - very boring!"

What this means is that these kids come to school because they want to socialise with each other and they are prepared to, even on a Sunday at seven o'clock in the morning rather than stay in their homes!

Life in their homes must be very boring indeed. I could never understand why they wanted to come to school here. School is so boring in Brunei!

They want to come because it is more interesting than their home life.

What an indictment of their home life. Because the school has an old fashioned curriculum designed for Native speakers such as myself. In fact I did the very same exams forty years ago myself!

No wonder the Bruneian kids are bored!

It's more interesting than home life.

I am now totally convinced that man is a social animal above all and before all else!

Sunday, June 17, 2001

We were at the yacht club today and we met two very interesting people both of them very friendly. One was an Australian Pilot from Brisbane. 

 I was talking to another Australian about the Ashes cricket series between England and Australia. It was noticeable that when he referred to " you " he meant England-even though he knew that we were in fact Australian citizens. He assumed I would be supporting England. It is precisely this assumption by " Dinky di " Aussies that makes us believe we will never really be accepted in Australia. 

 Many Aussies are migrants–how long do you have to be here before you are regarded as ‘Australian’? Twenty, thirty, forty years? It's for this reason that I am  critical. The bottom line is they don't consider me Australian.

I have been in Australia 33 years, and I was recenttly refered to by one of my local work colleagues as "almost Australian'. I suppose the reality is that first generation Aussies like myself will never be regarded as Australian by locals. Accent is the social marker of status. It will be different for my children.


Wednesday, June 20, 2001

I had an interesting encounter To-day with a ‘Dinky Di’ local Aussie. I met him judging the debating competition.. We were speaking about the children of school. I don't know how we came round to the subject, but we both agreed that  we were both more comfortable around people who were not 'white' or of Anglo celtic origin.

There is something intense or uptight about Anglo celts: 

I once heard this beautifully expressed by an African who said the white man always appears to be looking for something!

But it was strange coming from a local Dinky di Aussie

Sunday, July 01, 2001


Last night we were coming home from dinner and we had picked up Roger and his girlfriend . Just before we got home we arrived at a police roadblock. It must have been half past midnight . Well, of course our tax disk was six months out of date. This means a fine. Suddenly, Roger's girlfriend  piped up from the back and spoke in Malay to the policeman, and and they let us go. She had told them that I had recently arrived in the country and the company had given me the car. This satisfied everyone including the police! Well, little lady,  we owe you one!

Thursday, June 21, 2001

I was coming home from school today and I decided to get the car fixed. The people in the shell garage are two Pakistanis. The younger brother I think his name is Ahmad is a really nice guy in his mid twenties - may be near 30. Well, it turned out that this that this guy a year ago had come back from guess where? Moscow, Russia,  where he had been for seven years and qualified as a Doctor.

So, he can speak Russian as well as Urdu, Punjabi Malay and perfect English. He’s learning French at present because he is waiting for a visa to go to Canada not to practice as a doctor, but to do an MBA and go into the pharmaceutical industry !! Meanwhile he was fixing my car in his brother's business in Brunei! He has invited me to play cricket before but I have said no. Now he's inviting me go to Kuala Belait just to watch and bring the family and have the day out.

It is precisely this sort of spontaneous generosity which makes life as an expatriate so interesting and so colorful. It is a spontaneous generosity which I venture to say although not totally absent from Anglo-Saxon culture, is much less common than in Non Anglo-Saxon cultures.

Saturday, June 23, 2001

I was thinking today about how risky life is overseas. People really do not know just how risky it is.

One has to make so many compromises simply to survive when I compare this with the lives of someone who's in suburbia and in that " rut " professionally in Australia or England.

I have realized that it is difficult for people in such a rut to understand our nomadic life.

This lack of understanding fuels the bitter disappointment which inevitably occurs each time I go back "home" whether it be Australia for Ireland. Also in my case the lack of money saved makes it worse. Many expatriates have saved lots of money and in fact in their own way are quite complacent.



Tuesday, July 03, 2001

I'm still getting treatment for this shoulder. I slipped on some seaweed on the beach and fell very heavily taking the weight on my left shoulder. It's being very slow to recover and I am not able to play golf which is irritating me.

sometimes I feel in a blue mood.  our life seems so complicated compared to most people's lives. Why would anyone want to put themselves out on a limb like I have done  by going to a new country? The answer, of course, is that we had no choice. Once i had accumulated some international experience as teacher, I was on the bandwagon and couldn't get off. I was only employable on the international circuit. Irish and Australians didn't value my overseas experience.

Take the Australian venture for example. How vulnerable we were after the disaster in Melbourne, and how utterly alone. I found myself thinking that I would never forgive myself for going to Australia.  I grew to dislike their independence and their chilling indifference.  Some things can never be forgiven nor forgotten. These thoughts kept returning to me  in the early days in Brunei, when I was in these moods..

Changing the subject...philosphical thoughts at menglait...a final diary entry

I have just been thinking about Chinese Theater . I remember seeing this little mini drama on television. It looked like two men wrestling with each with their head and arms locked together.

For a long time, it appeared to have been two figures fighting each other but in actual fact it was only one actor.! It was only one man although it looked like two. What this clever little piece of theater was trying to show was that the conflicts in life are often with one self-not with other people.

I am always trying to improve myself. I constantly fight with my negative side. Sometimes I really don't think I'm making any progress. I’m just more aware of my negative side-and become depressed thinking about it. Ultimately, one simply has to be oneself and accept it- no matter how ugly one knows one self to be-but it is hard to suppress the uncharitable impulses one has about about one's fellow human beings! “The murderous impulse in the breast!” a quote from an unknown source.

Another interesting quote from a recent book I've read is " My father told me that no one owed me anything in life". The author believed this was a good lesson to learn. I couldn't agree more. But I just wonder how perfect can one really be to believe this. Of course all of us especially in our younger years feel that the world does indeed owe us living . I have certainly believed this for much  of my life. I think many people do, mostly in developed countries. Africans, South and central Americans and Asians seem not to believe it. They are more practical and pragmatic.