El Jobo

Here we are sitting in the boiling heat in the little house in El Jobo. I don’t really know everyone in the house-but all are relatives. They come and go and there is a constant banter in Spanish–much of which I only half understand-but it seems to be enough to keep everyone very happy–including myself.

My visit to my mother-in law is long overdue–seventeen years to be precise.

Gloria is bedridden, but in reasonable spirits under the circumstances. She is very frail and completely immobile and I would say she has not much longer to go. No help here from medicare or social services. She should be in a nursing home . She is looked after by her daughter Sofie and grandson Adrian.

She remembers a lot about me and for some reason  has always liked me-although I can’t  think  why: in 1983  I stole her daughter and took her far away and Maria and her mother are incredibly close-I've never seen anything like it. I am third: first comes Mum-then the 'children' and then myself:thats the deal for the man. But I'm not complaining...Ha!

I’ll never forget the day 31years ago when  we arrived in Veracruz  together after 24 hours travel from the Yucatan by bus. I was sick and could hardly speak a word in Spanish-just enough to ‘tell’ (not ask) Gloria I was going to marry her daughter and take her away to Ireland, which I did a few weeks later.

Gloria didn’t bat an eyelid . She must have known she would see little of her favourite daughter again as  this ‘Gringo’ would likely take her daughter far away.

Gloria  was sad to hear of the death of my brother and asked of my other brother. She made a trip to Belfast in 1986.

I haven’t met Marie’s brother since before I was married in 1983. He is staying with us for a few  days. He works on luxury yachts as a fisherman in New Jersey on short contracts.

Sofie, Marie’s sister is crippled with both knees ‘gone’ and walks like a robot and with difficulty. She is Glorias’ chief carer, but she does not complain and we hope she will be operated on herself soon by some free service from a group of  visiting ‘gringo’ doctors-I’m not quite sure how it all works. Marie supports Sofie financially a little-although I don’t quite know how.

Sofie’s son Adrian has just completed his training as a teacher–he is 32 and hopes to get a job soon. He lives with his Mum and  Sofie and he helps look after them  both. The house has an air-conditioner in the room of Gloria and another in another bedroom which I am sleeping in at present. This is a huge change from the last time I was here.

The little house in el jobo is much  the same after 17 years –and there are a few  signs of improvement if you look carefully. Some neighbouring houses have been renovated. The kitchen has been made a little larger and there is now hot water.

It all makes me realise what a privileged life I have led.

We like it here and it is our preferred place of retirement because we feel welcome here–something we don’t feel in Australia. they say the first generation migrant may find it difficult -I agree with that-but the second generation will do well. I'm not so sure...

However, there are many obstacles in the way of such a retirement  plan, not the least of which is the huge distance between us and our offspring in Australia.

The Journey took 3 full days because we came via Dallas and Mexico city. From Sydney to Dallas was 15 hours and-the last six  hours  were on the bus from Mexico city. We spent one night in Mexico city with friends of the family. The city has not changed at all and it is ok but I never really liked it that much.

Life is cheaper here but there remains the problem of the distance. Retirees are now  seen by  Governments  as ‘units of consumption’ in the economy-retirement is no longer  an entitlement, service  or  reward for work.

We like it here because we have family and an extensive network of friends of the family- even though we haven’t ever actually  lived here for more than  a few months 30 years ago. In Australia our network is so limited. So many ironies and paradoxes in the situation


We are both  really relaxed here-just like I was in Africa. So retirement here is a real option.

However there are many obstacles in the way of such a plan, not the least of which is the huge distance between us and our offspring in Australia.


But, at the end of the day, there is no point in being  unhappy.  Can you imagine an old and  more miserable me!


It is 6 pm and the humid heat has subsided a little now and people are coming alive again. Soon, we all sit outside and take the breeze on the street with a beer.

One of Gloria's six half brothers has just come in to see her. He hasn't seen me since the day of our wedding. He says I haven't changed

Bueno!

I now regret not having been able to come more often to Veracruz for the last 17 years

Asi es la Vida!

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