Interlude (14) Centrelink, the Dole and neighbours

I like my new neighbours.

Before we had the vicious Alsations who barked incessantly day and night and tried to intimidate us as we innocently tried to sunbathe.

Now, we have three people. I've never seen them but i've heard them and I like them. I like the way they talk to each other as they clean up the garden. Their tone of voice is friendly,animated but relaxed. They have bought the new place and are setting about improving it.

They may be noisy -but I can tell they are pleasant people. I look forward to meeting them some day.

On the other hand, at Centrelink (the dole office) today there was a not so pleasant incident.

I went there to give in a form verifying my payments from Flinders University. I was in the 'General enquiries' queue. I had actually been asked by E-mail to phone centrelink-but I thought,honourable citizen with initiative that I am, that I would give them a photocopy of my payslips from Flinders just to pre-empt the very obvious next bureaucratic request to supply them with said documents.

For the uninitiated,there are always two queues at Centrelink:

One is for people who have to give in their forms every two weeks-the dole and 'Newstart' etc; the other is for general enquiries for everything else.

I went to the general enquiries queue and was at the front of the queue. There were two blokes already waiting in the 'forms' queue.

In fact they had mistakenly gone there. They were not submitting forms-they wanted to make enquiries too but were doing it from the wrong place! (The sign indicated that a queue should be formed where I was for general enquiries.) I knew I was in the right queue because I had been there before. They obviously didn't.

Anyway, I was waiting to be served and was next in line with the two gentlemen to my right waiting in the wrong line through no fault of their own. For the purposes of the anecdote, let us call them 'Number One' and 'number Two'

Suddenly, a pretty looking receptionist-one of three serving us 'Customers' said to the two unfortunates on my right.

"There is one loin here mate" (mistakenly thinking the two blokes on my right were were trying to jump the queue to get service from her before me)

"Number one' , not at all surprisingly, took exception to being addressed in this rude and aggressive way by the pretty receptionist. He had arrived before I had. (in fact, both of them had)

"I was here first" he said quite correctly. (He was just in the wrong place)


"I said there is one loin" insisted the receptionist.


"I want to see the manager of this company and YOU are impudent!" retorted the wronged man.


"There is one loin"--insisted the pretty receptionist with a loud and dismissive tone. She was a vampire.

The manager then came and hustled an outraged "Number one" away to somewhere private where he would not embarrass everybody.

Meanwhile, "Number two" behind him then crossed over to me and butted in in front of me.

"I was here before you"

Having little alternative, I acquiesced in a gentlemanly manner.

"Yes, you were" I waved him on in front of me.(even though he too had been in the wrong queue)

A different receptionist called him up.

Eventually, the pretty receptionist called me up and dealt with my problem.

As I was talking to her, No.2, who was a handsome looking larrikin, finished his business and came up to me and the pretty receptionist and said ...looking at both of us.

"I'm sorry, did I cause a problem here?".

Oh no! .. said the pretty receptionist fluttering her eyelids, abashed, and wondering what the manager would say to her later. (She also had noticed No.2 was quite handsome.)

"I can't think why that guy was so rude to such a pretty receptionist' can you?

The receptionist dissolved into giggles.

There was a certain sexual tension in the air which had nothing to do with me.

"Oh! Thank you very much indeed!" fluttering her eyelashes again as if it was I who had complimented her. She was in seventh heaven at the compliment from No.2.

The receptionist was happy. I was happy. No. 2 was happy-and would probably come back for the receptionist's phone number later.

Who knows or cares what happened to number one.